The Slurrp Encyclopaedia of Dubious Kitchen Contraptions, Part 4
Image Credit: From gloves that peel potatoes to espresso machines that cost as much as a scooter, the absurdity keeps coming.

YOU'D THINK by now the barrel would be empty. After banana slicers, egg minders and pickle pickers, surely there can’t be more? And yet, the kitchen-gadget-industrial complex is inexhaustible. From gloves that peel potatoes to espresso machines that cost as much as a scooter, the absurdity keeps coming — and so does our Encyclopaedia.

1. Potato Peeling Gloves

They look like exfoliating mitts, except you rub spuds instead of skin. Slower than a regular peeler, messier than you’d believe, and indistinguishable from body-scrubbing gloves.

Verdict: Crap.

2. Rapid Coffee Brewer

Brews concentrate in minutes, which is nifty. But also: you own a kettle. And a jar. And possibly instant coffee.

Verdict: Moment in the sun (niche).

3. Oil Mister

In theory: misty perfection for salads and air frying. In practice: clogs faster than a teenager’s pores, sprays unevenly, and leaves you swearing at your chips.

Verdict: Crap.

4. Onion Holders

Resembles a Wolverine cosplay gone wrong. Just halve the onion and use the flat side, honestly.

Verdict: Crap.

5. Decorative Lemon Wedge Squeezer

Shaped like a novelty duck or dolphin, because squeezing a lemon by hand was too efficient.

Verdict: Crap (novelty).

6. Electric Potato Peeler (Rotato)

Looks like a tiny robot arm. Works well if you’re peeling sacks of potatoes. For a Tuesday night aloo matar? Utterly ridiculous.

Verdict: Mixed.

7. Measuring Cups

Indispensable for baking, overrated for cooking. Professional chefs smirk; home bakers cling to them.

Verdict: Mixed (indispensable yet maligned).

8. Stand Mixer

The granddaddy of space-hog gadgets. Heirloom status if you bake weekly, expensive paperweight if you don’t. Often inherited, rarely used.

Verdict: Mixed.

9. Microwave Bacon Rack

The promise: crisp bacon, minimal mess. The reality: limp-ish rashers and a rack you’ll hate cleaning more than your pan.

Verdict: Crap (with occasional defenders).

10. Pasta Spoon

Those spaghetti claws that fling more noodles onto the counter than onto plates. Colander + tongs = superior.

Verdict: Crap.

11. Whipped Cream Maker

Basically, a mini churn for something a whisk does in three minutes. Also, have you met packaged whipped cream?

Verdict: Crap.

12. Specialty Coffee Machines

Espresso makers that require a mortgage and a PhD in maintenance. Beautiful, yes. Necessary, no.

Verdict: Crap (overkill).

Thus, Part IV closes, proving once again that for every genuinely helpful tool, there are five that belong in a clearance bin. And still, the list goes on. Part V looms, promising everything from Pancake Pens to Corn Butterers. Because in the end, the only thing truly bottomless isn’t our appetite — it’s the gadget drawer.