What’s Your Star Trek Feast?

IN HONOUR OF Star Trek Day which was earlier this week (8 September), we’ve boldly gone where few menus have gone before. Forget your local replicator order; our playful game lets you discover your personalised Starfleet supper by mixing and matching dishes, sides and drinks from across the galaxy.

HOW TO PLAY:

Step 2. From the Side/Flavour Twist cards, pick the item linked to your birth month.

Step 3. From the Drink/Dessert cards, select the drink tied to the first letter of your first name, then the dessert linked to whether the last letter of your surname is a vowel or a consonant.

Put them together, and voilà: your very own menu worthy of Quark’s bar or the Captain’s table!

▣ 01. The Entrée

▣ 02. Flavours & Sides

▣ 03. Drinks & Dessert

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BONUS CONTENT

What happens when Starfleet’s finest swap phasers for frying pans? A culinary crossover worthy of the Alpha Quadrant. 

This playful script is our tribute to Star Trek Day, celebrating nearly six decades of warp-speed storytelling. In honour of the franchise’s spirit of exploration, we imagined a cooking reality show where starship captains, warriors, and space-faring gourmands put their culinary skills to the test. Think MasterChef meets Deep Space Nine...so set phasers to “fun,” and enjoy the ride.

GALACTIC CHEF SHOWDOWN: SEASON 1, EPISODE 1 – “A Taste of the Alpha Quadrant”

FADE IN:

INT. STARFLEET CULINARY ACADEMY – GRAND ARENA – DAY

Rows of gleaming cooking stations stretch out like battle lines beneath unforgiving studio lights. The audience—Klingons in ceremonial armour, Vulcans with impassive faces, Andorians leaning forward eagerly—buzzes with anticipation. This is no ordinary kitchen. This is the Culinary Academy’s showdown chamber, a holodeck-augmented amphitheatre where the galaxy’s gastronomic ambitions collide.

A sonorous voice echoes through the arena.

CHEF ZORGON (V.O.)

Welcome, galactic gourmands and culinary cadets, to the very first episode of GALACTIC CHEF SHOWDOWN! Tonight, across these polished counters, Federation heroes will lay down their tricorders and pick up their spatulas. Their mission: to boldly cook where no chef has cooked before!

The host strides into view: CHEF ZORGON, a towering, green-skinned alien draped in a pristine white coat that glitters faintly under the lights. His chef’s hat is nearly as elaborate as a Vulcan ceremonial headdress. He bows theatrically to the crowd.

CHEF ZORGON

I am your host, Chef Zorgon of Rigel IV, master of seven cuisines and winner of three interstellar bake-offs. Tonight, I guide you through this battle for culinary glory! But every contest needs judges.

He sweeps an arm toward a raised dais. Three figures sit behind a sleek console, their expressions as varied as their palates.

CAPTAIN BENJAMIN SISKO: Broad-shouldered, genial, with the gravitas of a man who has commanded starbases and kitchens. Once a celebrated Starfleet officer, now known across Bajor and beyond for his insistence on “real food” made without replicators.

NEELIX: a whiskered, cheerful Talaxian from the Delta Quadrant. His culinary experiments on Voyager once divided opinion, but his zest for flavours and cultural exchange is undeniable.

SUBCOMMANDER T’POL: a Vulcan officer, elegant and impassive, who regards both soufflés and human emotions with equal suspicion.

CHEF ZORGON

Captain Sisko, what are you hoping to taste tonight?

SISKO

(Smiling warmly)

Soul, Zorgon. Cooking without heart is just chemistry. My father taught me that every dish should tell a story—whether it’s gumbo or gagh.

CHEF ZORGON

Splendid! Neelix, what excites your palate?

NEELIX

(Practically bouncing)

Resourcefulness! In the Delta Quadrant, you learn to make soup from algae and joy from scraps. Food is language—every bite teaches us a new culture.

CHEF ZORGON

And finally, Subcommander T’Pol. What will you be analysing?

T’POL

(Composed, precise)

Efficiency. Nutritional integrity. Harmonious flavour structures. Culinary theatrics are irrelevant.

The audience titters. Zorgon grins.

CHEF ZORGON

A formidable tribunal! And now—our contestants!

Four chefs step forward to their stations. Spotlights flare.

COMMANDER WILLIAM T. RIKER: Bearded, charming, first officer of the starship Enterprise. Known for his adventurous palate—he once devoured live serpent worms to impress Klingons.

JADZIA DAX: A Trill science officer whose symbiont carries centuries of lifetimes. Experienced diplomat, strategist… and occasional gourmand.

GENERAL MARTOK: Scarred, one-eyed, a Klingon warrior whose very presence feels like a battle cry. His culinary style? Blunt force with a side of bloodwine.

LEETA: A Bajoran civilian turned culinary rising star, bringing spice, warmth, and resilience honed during the Occupation.

CHEF ZORGON

Chefs, take your stations. Tonight begins your journey through three perilous challenges. May the most flavourful prevail!

ROUND ONE: THE APPETISER ANOMALY

Zorgon gestures to four covered platters. With a flourish, lids vanish in a shimmer of transporter light.

CHEF ZORGON

Your mystery ingredient: the Crystalline Fruit of Xylos 7! Newly discovered, it glows like a star in miniature. Its flavour profile remains… mysterious. You have forty-five minutes to craft an appetiser worthy of the Alpha Quadrant. Commence!

The gong sounds.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Knives flash, replicators hum, alien spices cloud the air. Riker tastes cautiously, brow furrowed. Dax closes her eyes, drawing on centuries of memory, then begins slicing with surgical precision. Martok growls, hefts his blade, and attacks the fruit as though it were an enemy. Leeta beams, hands already dancing over herbs and peppers.

TIME’S UP. Dishes are presented.

Riker’s Dish: Andorian Red Bat Skewers with Crystalline Chutney.

Dax’s Dish: Ktarian Chocolate Puffs with Crystalline Essence. 

Martok’s Dish: Gagh glazed in Crystalline Syrup. (Visually striking, but the sweetness jars with writhing serpent worms.)

Leeta’s Dish: Mini Hasperat Bites with Crystalline Salsa.

The judges deliberate aloud—Sisko praising Dax’s refinement, Neelix chuckling over Leeta’s cleverness, T’Pol noting Riker’s “illogical” flavour pairing.

WINNER: Jadzia Dax.

The crowd applauds; Martok grunts like thunder.

ROUND TWO: THE MAIN COURSE MANOEUVRE

CHEF ZORGON

For this round, no replicators. Only fresh Alpha Quadrant produce. Ninety minutes to prepare a signature main course that defines you. Engage!

The chefs raid a glowing pantry of alien meats and vegetables.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Riker hauls a gleaming fish to the grill, humming a jazz riff. Dax works with surgeon’s precision on a spiny lobe-fish, crafting sauces with diplomat’s poise. Martok sharpens his mek’leth, eyes blazing as he slams a targ’s heart into the pot. Leeta crushes Bajoran herbs, their perfume filling the air with spice and memory.

DISHES PRESENTED:

Riker: Louisiana Jambalaya.

Dax: Spiny Lobe-Fish with Samarian Sunset Reduction.

Martok: Heart of Targ Stew with Bloodwine Reduction.

Leeta: Ratamba Stew with Hasperat Croutons.

Judges savour each. Sisko’s eyes mist at Riker’s jambalaya—“a taste of home.” Neelix applauds Dax’s daring reduction. T’Pol acknowledges Martok’s “nutritional density,” though “unappealing to the Vulcan palate.” But it is Leeta’s stew—fiery yet harmonious—that surprises them all.

WINNER: Chef Leeta.

ROUND THREE: THE REPLICATOR RIDDLE (DESSERT DELUGE)

CHEF ZORGON

Final challenge! Limited replicator settings only. Sixty minutes to create dessert magic from scarcity. Let the countdown begin!

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Panels chirp as chefs order rationed components. Riker frowns, then grins mischievously. Dax programs precise measurements. Martok growls, determined to wrestle authenticity from replication. Leeta experiments fearlessly, combining unlikely textures.

DISHES PRESENTED:

Riker: Chocolate Soufflé with Synthahol Foam.

Dax: Uttaberry Crêpes with Vulcan Mocha Swirl.

Martok: Rokeg Blood Pie.

Leeta: Sweet Leola Root Tart with Osol Twist Shavings.

JUDGES’ TABLE

The three confer.

SISKO

Riker’s jambalaya had soul, but his appetiser faltered.

NEELIX

Dax was consistent and elegant throughout.

T’POL

Yet Leeta demonstrated adaptability and a logical understanding of flavour dynamics, particularly with her dessert.

SISKO

Agreed. She surprised us all.

FINALE

The chefs stand, awaiting judgment. The crowd hushes.

CHEF ZORGON

Judges, your decision?

T’POL

(Calmly)

After careful deliberation, considering creativity, cultural resonance, and technical execution, the winner of tonight’s Galactic Chef Showdown is… Chef Leeta of Bajor.

The crowd erupts. Leeta clasps her hands in astonishment, then beams. Martok gives her a warrior’s nod—rare and weighty. Riker claps, Dax smiles in respect.

CHEF ZORGON

Congratulations, Chef Leeta! Your Bajoran spirit and ingenuity have carried the day. Cadets, captains, and connoisseurs—join us next time for more culinary adventures across the stars. Until then: live flavourfully, and prosper!

FADE OUT.

***

About the author: T’Maris zh’Rell is a junior science officer assigned to the Federation News Service’s Cultural Desk, where they specialise in cross-species gastronomy and replicator programming anomalies. When not chronicling culinary diplomacy across the Quadrants, they can be found moderating spirited debates on the relative merits of raktajino versus Vulcan spiced tea.