Dining Etiquette 102: At the Table
Image Credit: Part II of our etiquette mini-series tackles the main act: eating with grace.

YOU'VE RSVP'D, you’ve arrived on time, your napkin is in place. Congratulations — you’ve survived the opening act. Now comes the tricky bit: navigating the actual meal without turning it into a blooper reel.

Here’s how to keep things smooth once the plates land.

Ordering like a grown-up

  • If the host doesn’t guide you, stick to the middle road: nothing pricier than their order, nothing tiny and awkward.
  • Skip the messy nightmares (spaghetti marinara, French onion soup, lobster) unless you want to star in the evening’s comedy.
  • Keep dietary requests short and sweet. This isn’t the time for a TED Talk on your gluten journey.

The alcohol question

Job interview? Business lunch? Workday? The answer is always no.

Social dinner? One drink is fine, two if you’re pacing with others. Beyond that, it stops being etiquette and starts being karaoke.

Pro tip: hold wine glasses by the stem, not the bowl, unless you like warm fingerprints with your Merlot.

When to start eating

Always wait until everyone is served and the host makes a move. If someone insists you start because your dish is hot, go ahead — but otherwise, patience is the classiest seasoning.

Pace yourself

Match your rhythm to the table. Eating too fast looks greedy, too slow looks awkward. Think “ensemble cast,” not solo act.

Cutlery confidence

  • Rule of thumb: work from the outside in.
  • Continental style = knife stays in the right, fork stays in the left.
  • American style = cut, then switch fork to your right hand.
  • Either works — just don’t hold your fork like it’s a shovel.

Bread, soup, and other minefields

  • Bread: break into bite-size pieces, butter as you go. Don’t slather the whole roll like you’re prepping for storage.
  • Soup: scoop away from you, sip from the side of the spoon, no slurping (unless you’re in Tokyo).
  • Pasta: twirl a few strands; don’t hack it to bits or use a spoon assist at a formal table.

Table choreography

  • Pass food to the right.
  • Salt and pepper are a package deal — always pass them together.
  • Ask, don’t stretch, if something’s out of reach.
  • Napkin = gentle dab, never tissue substitute.

Talk, don’t monologue

Keep conversation light and inclusive — travel, books, food, that wild TV series you just binged. Avoid politics, money, or your latest medical saga. And yes, your phone can wait.

The Takeaway

This is the main act, and the trick is simple: eat neatly, talk kindly, and follow the host’s lead. Master these and you won’t just get through dinner — you’ll actually enjoy it.

Coming up in Part III: how to bow out gracefully, plus a quick spin around global dining quirks (spoiler: slurping can be a compliment).